On Fathers’ Day…

When I was growing up, Fathers’ Day had its own “O la la!”. Here is what I mean…

A few weeks before Fathers’ Day, my sisters and I along with my mom would sit down and plan what we were going to do for our dad. It was so sweet of my mom to think about what she could give him as a present although this was not “husbands’ day” and not their anniversary. Anyways… We used to ask our dad what he would like because he was very picky and particular. Our best bets were cologne (boy! did he love cologne or what? He would even spray on his nicely trimmed mustache), sweater, shirt. He really did not care for anything else. Later in life, his love of watches made my life easier because there was no size in case he put on or lost a few pounds here and there. The bottom line is we would get together and purchase what he liked. It was special that way. Many families were traditional so almost in every home that I knew, there was a father. Children would call home to wish their dad a Happy Fathers’ Day. Distance did not matter.

Just like anything else in life, things have changed around Fathers’ Day. We have to be more careful to see who has a dad, whose dad passed away, who never have known his or her dad. What if the person always wanted to be a dad but it never happened. Emotions may run high and if we are not careful, we can hurt someone’s feelings. On the other hand, sometimes I think like “Why do I have to think about all these things? Why cant we just keep things simple and celebrate moms on Mothers’ Day and dads on Fathers’ Day? Are we becoming more and more sensitive as a society? As the world? Are we hurting ourselves and others more with all this sensitivity and deep thinking?

How about the commercial side of things? I will tell you what my son and I did for this Fathers’ Day. We bought a very meaningful card. My son (SJ) signed the card, wrote on the envelope. Then we created a so called check with a note written on it: “Special for Daddy. No expiration date and no limit”. Yes, this is a piece of paper we wrote and decorated for him. It is up to him how and when to use it. This is much more than a gift card, a material thing. It is so open ended that he can even say ” I want to sleep in as long as I want or I want to take the day off and do what I want to do”. It can be just something to show we care for him and he cares for us. It does not have to be used on a special day. It can be for any day and anything.

Now that I live far away from my dad, there is not that much I can do. Video call, phone chat and sharing recipes are some of the things I like to do with my dad. Or even discussing a business deal etc. I write poems for him and about him, I pray for him. It is much emotional rather than material.We all need to think again and again how materialistic we ave become as the world.

I hope everyone has a father figure in his and her life. Someone who is more than a biological figure. Someone who has made a difference in your life. Someone who has touched you in someways making sure you know and feel that you are loved. To all those fathers out there “Happy Fathers’ Day”.

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