Monthly Archives: November 2016

Perception is the reality…Is it?

Posted on by under Life and self help

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Not long ago I was in a meeting with a stakeholder. He said that perception is the reality. Out of respect, I did not disagree with him. However, not speaking up bothered me deeply. I could not sleep the entire night.  In my world and on my mind, perception is just perception. It is the understanding of the other person and it does not make anything the reality.

I cannot count how many times I spoke with someone only to find out they did not look at the situation 360 degrees. You see a snippet of a situation and start making judgements and maybe reach a conclusion. The person on the other side of the table is staring at you in awe. This is why we ask “did you do your due diligence?”

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Science defines perception as the neurophysiological processes, including memory, by which an organism becomes aware of and interprets external stimuli. Another definition is that perception is a way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression. It is clear that perception is subjective. How can it be the reality?

The way we see the reality is affected by the way we focus on the subject. It is the same as seeing the glass half full while the other person is seeing it half empty. The reality is that the amount of water in the glass is equal to 1/2 of the size of that glass. Our personal choices, implicit biases, and beliefs effect our reality. On the other hand, our reality may not be the reality of others. It may not be the reality at all.  How does this happen? It happens because we see what we want to see. Our brain starts searching and focusing on the things that support what we believe in. Psychology defines this as “confirmation bias”. As we talk about the importance of anti-bias approach in education, how can we make sure that we are doing everything to be objective? One way is to check the facts in hand and remind ourselves to be objective.

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Our life experiences shape our realities. If you see John as a trouble maker, every time something goes wrong in the classroom you may think it is John’s fault. If you lost trust in your significant other, you may question everyone who presents similar behavior or who looks similar to that person. If you were bullied by a tall boy with big muscles, you may be scared each time you see a person who looks like that. Does this make you right? No. You are biased and your perception is influenced by your negative experiences.

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I watched an episode of Daredevil. A nine year old boy becomes blind after getting hit by a truck. His life takes a turn after this. His father dies, he starts hearing voices, pretty much everything around him even the things that are blocks away. Some people think that he is getting worse and is about to lose his mind because he is out of control with all the stimuli. He thinks he will not be able to live like this. Until an old blind man talks to him about his blindness being a gift. After listening to the old man the boy says ” until now, I have never thought of this as a gift.” Perfect example of perception. Our own beliefs and life experiences create our realities but they may not be the reality itself after all.

 

Children have rights and we have to protect them!

Posted on by under Advocacy, Children, Education, Life and self help

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A two-year old child was hung at a day care center. 9-year-old girl is being forced to marry her rapist. Three year old boy is considered “not normal” by his teacher because he draws purple trees. Four year old girl is getting a red card in her second week of being in pre-K because she cannot sit still in the classroom.

We can see many of these on the news, on social media and in our daily conversations with colleagues, friends and relatives. Some situations are more severe than the others of course but in the end they all are hurting our children. Are we doing enough to protect them? Are we doing anything at all to be e remedy for some and to get rid of others for good? Maybe…

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I question adults who are supposed to be informed, aware and educated in these matters. I also question the adults who are in leadership positions overseeing these individuals exposing our children to such sad situations. Law makers, principles, parents… Do you take an action and stand up for these children’s rights when you see everything happening in front of your eyes or do you let it go? In some cases, do you allow it to happen?

One cannot drive before they are 16 or 18. Yet, they can be forced to a marriage while they have a long life in front of them. A life for them to figure out who they are, what they like and what they want to do in life. Their life can be ended by a delusional person who cannot control herself or who feels good after her sadistic act. They can be stressed out, crushed and pushed away with a label because of a teacher who is not capable of teaching and understanding basics of human development and psychology.

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It takes all of us to speak up for our children. To speak up and to encourage them to stand up for themselves. We need to have the tools and give them what they need to do so. I hear many people saying that they do not have the tools or the resources. Then I learn that the same people never even asked the question: Do you know anyone who can help me? Are there any self help books to give me ideas about the ways I can approach this problem or challenge?

Sharing is caring. Advocating is caring. Collaborating and fighting for the cause is caring. We need to start caring about children and stop acting like we are helpless or we do not know what to do. We have power as long as we are together. It all starts with a single step, a phone call, a meeting, a question. Don’t be afraid.

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When I was in elementary school, my best friend and I heard about UNICEF. We used to support the cause knowing that there are children around the world who were not able to meet their basic needs such as clean water, food, clothing, education ,and medical treatment. There are children who are being abused and raped by the adults they need to be protected by. We didn’t have jobs or any other income to make big donations but we were thoughtful. We started purchasing greeting cards that had UNICEF trademark/logo on them. We chose to do so because the proceeds were going to children from all over the world in different ways. We wanted to help break the cycle of poverty and inequity.

I was impressed and excited when I saw that my son’s school is ofering UNICEF club as an option in extended day program. When he asked me what it is I said “This is the moment”. He is an empathetic child and what can be better than him being involved in this club I thought. He came home the next day and said he was the only boy in the club. In fact, some of his friends tried to change his mind saying it would be “no fun” to be in UNICEF club. He did not care.

With his permission, I am sharing the poem my son wrote:

                          We should give clothing, water, shelter and love to the poor

                          Because shelter is for you to survive winter and rainy days

                          Food and water are essential to survive

                          Clothes are so you are not cold on cold days and hot on very hot days

                          Love, because people or kids that are poor should not be gloomy or sad.

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Who are we?

Posted on by under Uncategorized


In case you do not know, early childhood professionals have been struggling to bring attention and seriousness to the  field for a very long time. I happen to be one of those professionals. As I am at the NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) conference this week, I wanted to reflect on my thoughts and our many discussions with colleagues one of which took place yesterday. 

The big question is “Who are we?”. Can anyone do what we do as good as we do? Does is take a certain skillset to perform what needs to be performmed to support children’s growth, development and learning? If yes, who has the skillset? Can any and every one be an early childhood educator? So, here is what I think…

I started my journey in education when I was 13. Actually, it is a lucky number for me. Growing up in Turkey, I was intrigued by languages. My cousins spoke German, my sister was learning English and listened to artists like Michael Jackson, George Michael, Lionel Ritchie… I loved the tunes and how the words sounded to my ears. I thought it was so cool to be able to speak English. English as a second language was just beginning to be a hot subject in Turkish education system and schools that were teaching every subject in English except Turkish grammar, history and social studies started to pop up everywhere. Some were like public charter schools and some were private. Of course, you had to take a test and score high enough to get in. I do remember how my heart felt like blowing up when I got in. Excited to see the books shiny, colorful with lots of cool sounding words, I could not wait to get started.English for a Changing World was the name of the series and Streamline was for spoken English class. I totally fell in love with the language. Any how… My third year in my so lovely relationship with English language, I realized how much fun it was to teach others. I was helping family members and neighbors. One summer I gave lessons to a lady who was going to visit her sister in London and wanted to learn at conversational level so she would not feel awkward. She was my first student I charged tuition. Yay! It went on and on… 

I decided to teach English for the rest of my life. Hence the reason I majored in English Language Teaching. After I moved to the States, I was not sure what I was going to get my M.A. in. I went back and forth for a while and at the same time I was applying for jobs that had nothing to do with teaching. I wanted to take it slow and easy so that I could focus on my studies. Well… That is how I found  myself in early childhood with little, wonderful, curious people. Hiring manager looked at my resume and interviewed me only to say that “I am not wasting your talent and experience at the front desk. You belong to the classroom”. I was confused and scared. I never thought I would be able to work with little children. My first reaction was “Oh”. Second thing came out of my mouth was “Thank you, allow me to think about it and I will get back to you”. I said to my husband: Children need patience, a different type of patience. I went to college to work with middle and high school students. I don’t think i can do this. After discussing over and over again, with my husband’s encouragement, I decided to give it a try. After all, I had nothing to lose. 

I learned that I had patience in me. More than I ever imagined. I  always loved children and had empathy for them. Coming from a large and close knit family, this was second nature to me. We always took care of our young and of each other. What I loved the most about being an ECE teacher was the innocence of children. Their need for guidance. Their excitement for the littlest discovery. Big contagious laughter for silly jokes and funny moments. I realized how we lose most of these positive feelings as we get older. I also realized how children and families are different and not all have the same opportunities. I thought about older children, upper grade students in general. I realized there was so much work to do at the beginning of their journey not in the middle. 


So… here I am after 13 years working in early ed world and 17 years in education field overall. I have the same thoughts. There is so much to do and everyone cannot do what needs to be done. Being an early childhood educator needs patience, compassion, caring and loving heart and a progressive mind that is all about growth. Growth mindset can exist only in people who are all about education. Personal and professional development. It also needs dedication. Not only for children and families but also for each other. It is a work of a community who share the same vision and the goals for the children and for our future. So, roll up your sleeves.